By: April Clay
We all worry to some degree or other. But worry out of control can really interfere with your ride. When you are in the grip of worry, you are either locked in the past with things you regret or stuck in the future trying to prevent disaster.
Unfortunately, this means you are not in the one place you need to be for your sport: in the present. In no other sport is this such an intimidating consequence. You are, after all, trying to manage a relationship with a very powerful animal.
Why Worry?
Why do we love to worry? Quite simply, it’s a form of control. We figure that if we can jump ahead and get a handle on all the possible scenarios, then maybe we can be prepared. It’s sort of like getting to know all the answers on a test. It can also be a way of protecting your ego. Thinking of the future can seductively feel like a form of damage control. If you already know the worst, then maybe you won’t be disappointed or feel foolish.
Get Specific
Worry has a way of jumping to the worst conclusions. Jana had multiple possibilities running through her mind, so she first had to sit down and name her fear. I asked her to write down a list of the thoughts she had about riding outside. When she stepped back from this list, she was able to see a common theme. Jana did not trust that her skills would enable her to cope, and as a result the possibility existed of getting physically hurt.
When asked to estimate the probability of this happening she had to concede that it was lower than she initially thought. She had a horse that, although spooky, seldom responded in a way that could unseat her. More probable was that he would get fussy, look around, not pay attention and hollow his back.
This gave Jana the feeling that she was out of control, and her mind jumped to the worst conclusion. However, now she had more clearly identified her real concerns, and was in a better position to do something about them. Interestingly, she noted that her anxiety about the situation had begun to dissipate already.
Make a Plan
Once you get clear about what your worry is, the next step is to make a plan. In doing so it is helpful to make a distinction between what is in your control and what is not. Fortunately for Jana, in her situation there was a great deal she was in control of, namely herself.
After talking it over with her trainer, they came up with a warm-up plan that would enable her and her horse to have a chance to acclimatize to their surroundings. Crucial to this warm up was Jana redefining her expectations and allowing her mount some leeway in his behaviour.
Instead of labeling these behaviours as bad or dangerous, she was able to see them as a normal part of her horse’s need to quiet his mind for work. Her job then became to be the consistent leader in this process, patiently guiding him until his focus became clearer.
Jana and her trainer also decided to review the skills of emergency stops and dismounts to add to her coping repertoire. This way, if the worst did happen, Jana knew how to proceed to best reduce the chance she may get hurt.
Now Jana was in a position not to be a helpless victim of her worry, but rather a problem solver ready for action. There is nothing quite like action to lower feelings of anxiety and nervousness.
Break the Habit
A habit is a reoccurring behaviour that often slips out of the range of consciousness. Worry is definitely a habit. Many find it a difficult one to break, simply because of the illusion of control it offers. If your goal is to reduce your worry, be prepared to put some work in, and expect some slips.
If you find that riding is not the only time your mind frets, you can consider setting up a “worry time.” This is a specific time during the day when you sit down, uninterrupted, and worry. Really go for it. Make sure it is not a place where you would like to associate with rest, like your bed or a favourite chair. Rather, pick or create a space that is neutral.
The idea here is to put limits on your worry. You are allowed to consider these thoughts, but only for a specified amount of time. As well, if you catch yourself in the act during the day, you make a note of what you’re thinking, and promise yourself to consider it at your chosen time.
This strategy has several advantages. First, it assists in increasing your awareness of when and how much you worry. Second, when you really sit down and go at your worrying an interesting thing starts to happen. You tend to see some of the exaggerations in your thinking. You might even start to throw out some of the “what ifs” you used to entertain before.
The problem, of course, is that “what if” lists are infinite. They can be a never-ending story of tragedy. When you become proficient enough in your awareness to catch this spiral, it can be helpful to be ready with a cue to bring you back to the present.
The phrase “what is” can be a handy reminder. This directs your focus back to what is happening in the here and now. Experiment with different words and phrases that can become your prompt to get back to the conversation with your horse.
Another type of cue you can condition yourself to use involves using your senses. Being in the now means that you are reading what is coming in through your five senses of taste, touch, hearing, smell, and sight. If you can direct your attention to one of these information processors, it can help bring your focus back to where it needs to be.
You may be wondering, is there ever a time when worry is helpful? Is there such a thing as good worry? Well, yes. If thoughts about what may go wrong alert you to initiate a problem-solving plan, then that worry was helpful.
More often, however, what we consider worry is just rumination on negative possibilities. So get used to asking yourself, “How soon is my worry about this situation going to translate into action?”
Chartered psychologist April Clay is a former A Circuit rider and a member of the Canadian Mental Training Registry. She performs seminars and consultations in equine sports psychology including: Individuals or groups, On the ground or mounted, Email consultations. The perfect topic for your next association meeting! To find out more, call (403) 714-2529, email: april@bodymindmotion.com or visit www.bodymind motion.com
