by: Bob Goddard
I’ve heard people say that you can make money off horses. I don’t get it. Our daughters’ horses have done nothing but cost us money.
We pay for their hay and grain. We pay for their barn. We pay for their tack and saddles and show clothes. We pay for the vet and farrier. We pay … oh … now I get it.
Okay, so the rule must be: you can make money off horses providing you don’t own one. But does it have to be that way?
What’s wrong with owners seeing a little return on our investment? With a little ingenuity and hard work, maybe it can be done.
An Internet search is encouraging. I type in horses/business and find thousands of people doing rather well in equine-focused enterprises. Most prominent are the hundreds of huge resort ranches out west.
This makes sense. It’s beautiful in the west and there is a lot to see. The problem is that it’s all spread out and you can’t walk where you want to go. The answer is “Nature’s Recreational Vehicle:” the horse.
Sure, you could take a car or a rugged SUV, but staring out the window while sitting in the middle of all that steel and chrome is a poor substitute for the romance of a trail ride. People love the equine experience. And there’s money in that.
This got me thinking. Maybe I’ve been sitting on a gold mine all these years and never knew it. Instead of a financial black hole, maybe I could turn our place into a little money-maker. I mean, we have real horses.
For $7.50 a head we could offer visitors a real horse experience. In fact, I believe people would pay $10 a visit!
We could call it “Bob’s Horse World.” And we’ll charge $12 … no, $15 a head. Fifteen bucks for a magical equine experience. Of course, I’d need a brochure…
Ideas for “Bob’s Horse World” brochure:
Want to see some real horses? Visit Bob’s Horse World! Nestled between Old Floyd’s farm and Big Sam’s abandoned, falling down barn is where you’ll find Bob’s Horse World – a magical place of equine bliss.
Sprawled out over five incredible acres, Bob’s Horse World features an authentic barn, an actual fenced in pasture, a genuine storage shed … and real horses!
(insert photo of real horse)
Witness the spectacle of real live horse girls leading real live horses into the field every morning. And marvel as these same girls bring these same horses back into the barn at night!
You’ll be amazed at the sight of horse girls performing actual barn chores, including mucking stalls, grooming horses, hauling water, and – your eyes won’t believe this – actually emptying a wheelbarrow!
(insert photo of smiling horse girl doing barn chores – call local actors guild)
But that’s not all! Thrill to the touch of a live electric fence! What a rush!
No visit to Bob’s Horse World would be complete without a trip to our most prominent attraction: Manure Mountain.
A naturally formed wonder, Manure Mountain reaches awe-inspiring heights of over 50 ft. above sea level! From its peak you’ll be able to take in the entire panorama of Bob’s Horse World! Bring a lunch! And don’t forget your boots!
(insert picture of Mount Lougheed)
Bob’s Horse World is educational too! Learn to hitch a horse trailer to a truck in less than an hour by using Bob’s patented “Back Up - Jump Out and Look - Cuss - Try Again” method. Bob’s seminar on this scientifically based system is alone worth the $20 admission price!
Then, step waaaay back and witness the awesome destructive power of Bob’s legendary trailer-backing demonstration. Watch your toes! And don’t forget to move your vehicle!
(insert copy of “inherent risk of equine activity” disclaimer)
I think people would pay $22.50 – I mean $25 – a head for all of this.
I’ll tack up the signs tomorrow.
