by Audrey Pavia
While many adult riders were fortunate enough as kids to have a wonderful pony who took care of them as they were learning, there are plenty of other former-children out there who have less-than-fond memories of that first mount.
Many of these kids from a few decades ago are not even involved with horses anymore –that’s how unhappy their pony recollections are.
You may have run across these people in your travels. They have no shortage of pony horror stories to share. Tales of being bitten, kicked and stepped on by their ponies are common. And they have even more details of being dumped from the saddle at a young age than you can even imagine.
While your first pony was your best friend, for these young equestrians, their first pony was their worst enemy.
When you hear these stories, you probably don’t react with surprise, even though your own experiences were different. After all, ponies, as a group, tend to have a reputation throughout the horse world for being bratty.
Why are ponies notorious for misbehaving? Is there something inherent in their personalities? Does a disregard for humans come along with the small size?
Most pony breeders and trainers give a resounding “no” to these questions. Instead, they point the finger for pony problems at people who don’t treat ponies with the same regard they give full-sized horses.
“It’s a situation that has been created by humans, and is purely an excuse for bad training or even non-training,” said Cynthia Kirby, owner of Saltwood Farms Welsh Ponies in Middletown, Rhode Island.
The primary reason ponies get into trouble is because they are so small.
“Ponies are often not taken very seriously by trainers and owners because of their size and because they are often so cute,” said Ellen Warren, a trainer in Copper’s Cove, Texas. “They are therefore not trained and handled as properly as the big ‘real’ horses, and this will cause problems.
“It is important to remember that although ponies can be small, they are incredibly strong, and they have all the same issues and instincts as bigger horses.”
Another problem with ponies is that they are often relegated to the hands of children, since the two are so well-matched in the size department. However, children rarely know how to properly handle any equine and will often “spoil” a pony with poor treatment.
Said Warren: “Another factor is that most ponies are ridden by children who do not have very much experience with horses, and they will naturally make a lot of mistakes with their ponies. Children do not want to abuse their ponies of course, but unless they are taught how to handle and treat their animal, they might do so without meaning to.
“Ponies often get kicked in the belly, pulled in the mouth, put away wet and so on, and this will make the pony ‘difficult’ after a while.”
Trainer Bonnie Goss of Goss’s Hosses in Middleburgh, New York, thinks ponies also tend to get the short end of the stick when it comes to training.
“How often does a small pony have the chance to be trained by a competent adult trainer?” she asked. “Adults sometimes just throw children on ponies and expect miracles out of an untrained pony with an untrained child.”
So, if you take the time to get a pony who has been trained well, you can avoid the pony pitfalls, right? Well, it’s not quite that simple. Your child is a big factor in the equation, too.
Kid Check
The first ingredient to a successful child/pony relationship is one so obvious that it’s a wonder we even have to say it: Make sure your child actually wants a pony.
This may seem absurd, but trainers we spoke to said that many parents don’t bother to find out if the kid actually cares about having a pony.
“You have to make sure the child is really interested in even owning a pony,” said Thomas Hoffecker of Charmsley Farm in Monkton, Maryland. “Sometimes, it turns out that the pony is really for the parent.”
“Parents need to ask themselves whether they are buying the pony so their child can have a best friend, or because they themselves want the ego trip of showing,” said Vikki Karcher Siegel, a trainer with Snowbird Acres Farm riding school in Long Valley, New Jersey. “Make sure your child really wants it before you proceed.”
Another important thing to do before buying a pony is to teach your child to ride and work with a horse on the ground.
There are a lot of children with their own ponies who haven’t a clue how to handle a horse. Have your child take regular lessons for at least six months, and consider leasing a pony at first before buying. This will give you a real sense as to whether or not this will be a lasting interest for your kid.
The Right Pony
When it comes to a successful pony/kid relationship, there’s nothing more important than picking the right pony. And before you can do this, you need to figure out exactly what you and your child want from a pony.
Breeders and trainers recommend that a child’s first pony be an animal that the young person can learn to ride on, and build her confidence with.
“That doesn’t mean the most expensive pony or the prettiest pony,” said Siegel. “It means finding the pony with the best disposition.”
A good trainer can help you judge the pony’s disposition, and it’s always wise to take one with you when you go shopping. If you live in an area where trainers are scarce, find an experienced pony person, someone who has worked with both children and ponies.
No matter who you take with you, it should be someone you feel comfortable with. And don’t forget to listen to their advice. “Parents sometimes go by a pony’s looks,” said Devilyn Wallin, head trainer at Up and Over Farms in Agoura, California. “That’s not the way to do it.”
Start out by looking for a pony that has been around the block a time or two. Putting an inexperienced child on a young, inexperienced pony is usually a recipe for disaster.
“If you have a young child with no prior experience as a pony owner, I would recommend you buy an older pony,” said Warren.
“Fifteen to 20 years is not too old. A young pony is much more likely to run off with the child or throw her off, simply because so many things are new to the pony. It’s in a horse’s nature to act this way anyway, but when a pony reaches a good mature age, he has been around and seen so many things that this risk is smaller.”
Warren also pointed out that one of the worst mistakes a parent can make is deliberately getting a young pony so that the pony and the child can grow up together. “Inexperienced horses and ponies are for experienced riders only,” she said.
When you go out pony shopping, it’s a good idea to take your trainer, but leave your child at home. The reason for this is simple: Kids have a tendency to fall in love with the first pony they see, said Kathleen Weber, a trainer at Ocala Show Stables in Tampa, Florida.
Without the influence of your child, you’ll be able to look for a pony that feels safe to you and one you will be comfortable having your child spend time with.
“Use your paternal instincts here,” says Wallin. “And remember that safety is most important.”
Other factors to consider are the pony’s conformation and way of going. Size is important too. Says Warren: “Buy a pony that fits the child now, not one that the child will only be able to handle when she gets bigger.
“The child will grow out of the pony in a few years, this is true, but you need to find a pony that fits the child when you are buying it. If you get a pony that is too big or difficult for the child to handle, the child is likely to not want to ride for very long.”
It’s also nice to have a good looking pony who moves well and is the perfect size for your child. However, don’t sacrifice a good safe temperament for any of these.
They aren’t as important as your child’s safety. “A lot of times, the ugly pony no one wants is the nicest one,” said Siegel.
Once you think you’ve found a safe pony with a gentle disposition, arrange for your child to meet the pony and work with it for the next week to 10 days, minimum. Don’t give your child any background information on the pony, since you don’t want to influence her.
Have her handle the pony every day, grooming it, leading it, tacking it up, riding it. Watch for chemistry between the two. If the pony seems happy being handled by the child, and the child falls madly in love with the pony, then this is the match you are looking for.
Before you make that final decision, be sure to have a veterinarian perform a pre-purchase exam on the pony. You want to make sure the animal is healthy before you bring it home and your child gets really attached to it.
Making It Work
Now that you have found an experienced, well-mannered pony that your child loves, you need to nurture their relationship. The best way to do this is to be there for both your child and the pony, in both body and mind.
While you want your child’s pony to be somewhat of a baby-sitter, don’t expect to leave the two of them alone all the time. “It’s really important to give your child supervision while she is with the pony,” said Siegel.
“This is especially true in the first six months while the two are getting to know each other.” The reason for this is that children need to have a sense of authority present, even when they are just having fun with their pony.
“Kids get scared of things, and if there’s no adult there to help, it can really frighten them,” said Siegel. “An adult needs to be there to deal with things, such as a bee in the barn that will upset both the horse and the child. And they need to make sure the child knows what to do with the pony, how to pick up its feet and take care of it.”
Siegel warns that kids who are left unsupervised and run into situations that frighten them will start avoiding spending time with their pony.
“Something weird will happen at the barn, and then the child doesn’t want to get on the pony or go to the barn,” she said. “They have trouble expressing the fear, so all of sudden, you have a kid who doesn’t want to be there.”
It’s also a good idea to keep your child and pony in training, if possible. This way, your child can continue to learn, and the relationship between rider and mount will be fostered – provided you have a good trainer.
Finding the right trainer to work with your child is very important if your child is going to have a positive experience with her pony. Certain trainers are good with children, while others are better with adults.
You want to use a trainer who instills confidence in your child rather than fear. “The most tragic scenario is a timid young rider on a new pony with an aggressive, often abusive, berating, demanding trainer who thinks that using bully techniques will produce rapid success,” says Kirby.
“If this same young rider were in a low-key situation with a sensitive trainer with a soft voice and a kind way, both child and pony would grown and learn and become confident together.”
Consider enrolling your child in an organized riding group for young people, since this can be a great place for them to learn and make new horsey friends.
The Pony Club is one good option, said David and Lynda Davies, owners of Manoravon New Forest Ponies in Guelph, Ontario.
“Pony Club is a great place for kids to learn both proper care and riding, along with having fun participating in all the different activities that they have.” 4-H is another possibility, as are any number of local riding groups for kids.
If it works out right, real love can grow between a child and her pony. “The relationship between a pony and a child is so completely personal that no one can really understand it, not even a parent,” said Kirby.
