By: Bob Goddard

It was a turning point in the history of our family. For seven years, our lives centered around horse shows. With two horse-crazed girls, my wife Jenny and I had grown accustomed to watching our money, our weekends, and our sanity vanish into a vortex of horse show mania. But now, at 17, our daughter Jamie announced she was giving it up, “I want to switch to trail riding, Dad.”

One down, one to go.
continue reading "An endless trail … of spending"

By: Bob Goddard

According to The Great Book of Horse Knowledge, a good horse-rider relationship is based on trust. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s not.

Just because a horse trusts you, does not mean that you should trust it. No matter how honourable or noble you think a horse is, you should never, ever fully trust it.
continue reading "You Can’t Trust Horses"

By: Bob Goddard

When my 11-year-old daughter approached me about getting a horse, I didn’t say yes and I didn’t say no.

“You’re not old enough for a horse; you have to wait until you’re 12,” is what I said.

Having settled the matter, I snatched the TV remote and turned on the History Channel.

“Dad, I’ve been 14 for three months.”

Fourteen? Horse people often resort to this sort of trickery to get what they want. But I knew exactly how to handle it. Balancing the remote between my palms, I looked at the ceiling and said, “A horse is not a cat.” I flipped over to the Discovery Channel.
continue reading "Horses are not Cats. Nor are they Ken Dolls."

By: Bob Goddard

One of the advantages that trail riding has over other forms of equitation is the relaxation of social and hygienic standards. Part of this is practical. When you’re out in nature and “nature calls,” you do what you have to do.

Necessity is the mother of many things and one of these things happens to be – excuse me for this – peeing outdoors.
continue reading "Of Gravity & Fluids"

By: Bob Goddard

Up here in the north, horse people take pride in their ability to withstand the rigors of winter. It takes toughness and dedication to maintain horses in an environment that features -20o Celsius temperatures.

Overcoming the elements gives northern horse people a sense of Nordic invincibility and self-satisfaction. Horse people in the south find satisfaction in the fact that they have the brains not to live in the north.

Of course, it takes more than physical toughness to survive a northern winter. Horse people also need practical know-how. They need to be aware of how extreme conditions affect horses and what measures need to be taken. Toughness is great, but it’s no substitute for knowing what the heck you’re doing.

As a father of a horse crazy, adolescent female, I looked at our first winter as a kind of test. If Jamie – and her horse – could survive the winter, why then, I’d have to consider her a genuine horse person.
continue reading "Ho! Ho! Ho! I’m a Bundle of Cold"

By: Bob Goddard

I am not a horseperson. While there is nothing wrong with that, my lack of knowledge puts me at the mercy of my adolescent, horse-crazy daughter Jamie. Or should I says my know-it-all, adolescent, horse-crazy daughter Jamie.

Jamie’s endless list of things she needs becomes longer in the winter. According to her, cold weather creates special problems for horses. In our case, these problems can be addressed only by large amounts of money and/or by physically torturing me.
continue reading "Electric Fences & Popsicles"

By: Bob Goddard

Why do horses allow humans to ride them? They don’t have to, you know.

While humans may have delusions of control and dominance, the truth is they remain in the saddle only as long the horse permits. Horses know they are quite able to rid themselves of these puny ape-like hitchhikers any time they want.
continue reading "Why Do Horses put up with Us?"